Unne Medicine Kelly

Pushing Daisies Episode 3 (Season 2): Bad Habits

Chuck: There was a young man named Von Deenis...
Ned: Who they said had a very big...



Dear readers,

Today's topic is about pr0n.  Why pr0n?  Well, first, I received an SMS message from a distressed male friend that read, "OMG! I accidentally happened upon my dad browsing through pr0n!  I need therapy!  No, I need to send my brain to the cleaners!  Hot water, ten scoops of detergent, and a gallon of bleach!"  Several minutes later, another friend mentioned that she thought her colleague was watching pr0n at work, only that it turns out he was watching Wonder Woman; let's just say our convo eventually came to discussing the fact that my dad told me that Linda Carter was a pr0n star prior to her Wonder Woman gig.  He told me that factoid when I was watching Sky High and I pointed out that Linda Carter was playing the character of Principal Powers; my first reaction to my dad telling me that was "How the hell did he know that?"  (I mean, my dad was too young to watch pr0n at that time, but knowing his propensity to read up on useless trivia, he would probably know her cup size too.)  Other friends had already contributed much input on these messages through our microblogging site, and well, most of the messages were jokes about pr0n and all that.

Someone remarked about males being visual creatures and "show them a hint of skin, and their IQ goes down 100 points."  Of course, our gallant male friends immediately rose to the defense of their ilk, but I couldn't help but slightly believe that first comment from a female friend.  The belief that males are visual creatures has been going around since time immemorial, only recently explained in depth when women were finally able to speak in public without being stoned to death or forced into a straitjacket or told that her place was "in the kitchen and in the bedroom."  Why else would sales of lad mags like Playboy, pr0n DVDs, and drinks in "massage parlors" remain constantly high, recession or not?  Pr0n is such a huge industry worldwide and I suspect that the annual profits could be put to use in feeding a starving refugee camp for ten year or allow a graduating class of an inner city high school to finish college in an Ivy League institution.  (Side note: there was this news piece about the American pr0n industry seeking a bailout after the US government bailed out the banks and the auto industry.  I don't know if Hustler et al were doing it for the LULZ, but seriously, that news says something about the priorities of the US consumer.)

It is weird icky when the members of the male population who are nearest to you by affinity or friendship suddenly let it slip that they do watch pr0n.  It is unnerving when one catches said persons actually viewing pr0n.  Not all males realize that females and some other males in the vicinity might still be unnerved by any mention of pr0n.  Personally, I could probably let the mention of pr0n go "unnoticed," but I start getting uncomfortable when the guys go all testosterone-y and start discussing pr0n with gusto--eyes taking on that crazed appearance, voices going up a few decibels, chest puffing out, and other movements that remind me of Neanderthal-like behavior.  Oh wait, that's an insult to Neanderthals.  Caveman-like behavior is a better term.  (Or is that another insult to cavemen, I don't know.)  If womenkind were not around them, they'd probably start scratching their area and boasting about peen size/imaginary sexual conquests/real conquests liberally peppered with figments of their testosterone-clouded imaginations.  Wait, maybe I could hang around and record their conversation (or what passes for conversation) and send it to a male acquaintance who works as the editorial assistant of Playboy Philippines; I probably might make money out of it.